Ireti left that evening, she saw my mood and knew I wasn’t happy with the way she messed up the whole house. My house had never been so unkempt, so scattered and dirty. Even my friends knows me for that. I don’t like an unkempt place. It was so shocking that Ireti could turn the whole house upside down within an hour of me been away. She picked up her shoe from where I kept them and left. All I did was to walk her down to her car and bid her goodbye.
I removed the curtains, the white bed spread that was stained with food oil, took it all to the washing machine and changed them up with a new ones. I did all the laundry because I don’t have a house help. I never find it necessary to have one. But at a time like this, I started wishing for a help. I scrubbed and cleaned until my house was back in order.
I called Ireti that night to know if she had gotten home safely, I did not want it to appear like I was unkind to my guest, not just my guest the woman that I have always had a crush on until she prove to me how much of a mess she can make within a twinkle of an eye.
I called her but she didn’t pick up. I decided not to call again and slept off.
Two days later, I try calling her but she still did not respond. I began to feel guilty . Maybe I was too harsh or I overreacted.
I sent her a message apologizing and she quickly replied, telling me how i treated her like a ghost just because of the little mess she made in my house. Ireti said she was actually testing me to know how much of a patient man I was, if I was what I claimed to be but in her assessment I wasn’t any where close to been a husband material.
That “husband material” she mentioned got me and i started laughing at myself.
How can she even be testing me by scattering up my whole house, even to the extent of getting into my wardrobe and bringing out my burgundy shoe?
I can’t be patient with such ill attitude of hers or did she want me to thank her for creating such a big mess in my house?
I apologize to her anyway and promise to make it up when next she comes.
And after a week she returned again on a weekend. I did not go through so much trouble in setting a large table of food for her like the last time. I may set up and she will decide to change her mind and want something different. I will rather take her out to the best restaurant to eat. It will also save me some trouble.
And that was exactly what I did. I drove out with her to one of the best restaurant. Ireti couldn’t decide what exactly she wanted on the menu. After my order was taking, Ireti was still checking the menu.
the waiter brought my food and I was set to eat she looked at me like a thief.
” What’s the problem baby?
I looked up from my food and asked her. She frowned and said
“Mart, Is very rude of you to start eating when I’m yet to make my own choice. That’s so uncaring and bad…
I quickly apologize before straightening. I dropped my cutlery, sat back waiting for the queen to make a choice. When she finally did it was three different types of meal and a cocktail inclusive.
I kept waiting without touching my food until Ireti’s food was served. She smiled at the filled table of food and started eating. I gasped out in relief before picking up my fork.
” Hold on Mart, I want to taste yours!
She said while bending over the table to collect some of my own food. When she was done tasting I resume eating from the one she left over. I try to engage her in a conversation but she was too busy with her three different plates of food and did not give me attention. I finished my food and settled with the wine. She frowned again.
” Mart, you are so uncaring. I wasn’t done with yours. I still wanted to eat out of your own. Why did you finish it… that’s not fair.
I swallowed hard. Not really knowing what to do. I called the waiter to bring another plate of food and he did. Since I wasn’t hungry. I left it for Ireti. If she wants to kill herself with food, then she should go ahead. Ireti urged me to be eating, that she enjoyed the way I was chewing the food. I took the fork and picked at the food, took little into my mouth and chew the food for long. I kept up with this boring act, all that matters was Ireti enjoys the way I chew so I must keep chewing until I’m asked to stop. Pleasing Ireti by all means, I don’t really have much choice in all this. She later asked me to stop picking the food because I was messing it up for her.
I was relieved and sat back while watching her eat. I paid up and picked up my car key and Ireti took her handbag.
Ireti left behind a large quantity of food that can feed two adults. She couldn’t even finish one plate of food but she made sure she touched all of the food placed before her.
We got into the car and she tries to lit a cigarette.
” No… don’t do that. C’mon babe. Smoking in a car is so wrong. If that’s what you do in your car then is high time you try and stop it before something goes up in flames.
I said gently to her and remove the cigarette from her mouth. She did not argue instead she turned up the music playing slowly in my car. The music was so loud that I have to scream to speak to her. I tuned the volume down and she high it again. I gave up and drove back home with her.
As we got into the house, she went all over me unexpectedly.
In my mind I was shouting ” hey, calm down.. stop tearing me up like a dog”.
But I never said those words out. I wanted her too but was afraid to make a move and I’m glad she boldly took the first move and I grabbed it. She was rough, not the type of romance I enjoy but I cooperated.
Ireti was good and knows how to seduce a man. She was so romantic. She knows where and how to touch to get me on my toe.
One tiny voice in my head was already singing “danger… Martin Jr, danger beware”…
There was another loud voice still in my head that was shouting. ” Mart, do it. enjoy yourself with your woman crush. Your everyday crush… She will give you the best sex you have ever had. Listen to her and get on with it. Don’t spoil this fun… prove to her that you got what it takes…!
I woke up late the following morning still feeling tired because I slept around 3am. Ireti was not in bed.
I stood immediately I perceived smells of cigarette. She was sitting in the bathroom tub smoking and a bottle of whiskey which I guess she took from my bar was in her hand.
” Are you alright honey… I said while moving close to sit with her.
” How can I be alright when you slept off like that? What kind of man are you? just a little fun and you are already snoring like he goat. That was annoying…
She actually called me a “he goat” I gave a sad laugh to my miserable self. What a life to be referred to as an animal because I couldn’t continue with the all night fun. I tried not to pick offence but made a joke out of the sad moment of my life.
” Baby, next time I will do better. Forgive my incompetence. We actually started around 9pm till 3am. It was a long hard work, I almost passed out from your strong skills. But it is better to die well, in the arm of a pretty damsel like you than to die alone… Next time I will ginger my moral and you can have me all you want alright?
I watch her smile as she stood up from the bath and walk out in my night robe which was oversize for her but she looks cute in it.
I brushed and had a quick warm bath. When I came out from the bathroom she was blasting music in the sitting room. Dancing and shouting out the lyrics of the song I smiled to myself before proceeding to wear clothes, I noticed my wardrobe was scattered. I saw my shoe, the very shoe close to my heart. The pack was opened again.
After putting on clothes, I tidied up my wardrobe, put back my burgundy shoe. Lock it up with a key and remove the key. I don’t understand what Ireti was searching for in my personal things. I don’t play with my personal stuffs and I hate it when I see Somebody doing that. Nobody has any business going into my wardrobe without my permission. There are sensitive documents and files in the wardrobe locker which shouldn’t be tampered with.
” Babe, did you go to my wardrobe?
I asked her immediately I came to the sitting room. She took the remote control and reduced the volume of the music before asking me to repeat myself and I did.
” yes, I went to your wardrobe. I was only admiring your shoe. The one you wore to Jide’s wedding. You slept off on me and I didn’t feel like sleeping so I decided to tour the house, I wanted to while away time and I got hold of your beautiful shoe. After admiring it for a while I returned it back. Played around a little before retiring to drinking and smoke few sticks of cigarette. You wear size 44 Mart? The shoe is size 44, Which is exactly the same size with my Papi. I have been thinking of what to get for him for his next birthday and while staring at your shoe it quickly occurred to me to get a beautiful shoe like yours. He will really appreciate it. Yours is still very new as if it have not been worn before and well packaged. You are the first man that I have seen with such beautifully made shoe. Is very special and well crafted. I like it. You got eyes for good things Mart and almost same way with my papi. I will get something similar for him.
I thanked her for the compliments but I was curious when she says getting a similar type of shoe for her Papi. I guess her Papi means her dad, and how will she get something similar when is obvious that the shoe is not common. I asked her what she meant.
” Do you plan to give a professional shoe makers to create same type of my shoe for your Dad or something closely related?
” I’m not saying it will be exactly yours. I said getting a shoe with same size and pattern for him. I also saw the shoe polish, is not commonly sold, I guess. Seeing your shoe gave me an idea of what I will get for my Papi’s next birthday…I will also invite you when the time comes…
She came to me, rubbing her hand on my chest. I asked her what she wanted for breakfast but she said not yet. I kissed her gently before taking her to a sit. As we sat down I gently draw her into my arms and said
” I will love to be at your Papi’s birthday honey. Anywhere you want me to go with you I will be glad to and I’m happy you love my shoe enough to get something similar for your Papi. Ireti, please don’t be offended with what I’m about to say. I found out that when you scatter things you find it difficult to put it back in order. Please take no offence baby. I’m only trying to understand you and you will understand my type of person too. I don’t like when things are scattered or messed up. Which was more reason why I wasn’t happy the last time you came. My wardrobe holds my personal stuffs and even my family don’t get close to it….
“So, what exactly are you getting at Mart? Be open with me and stop beating round. or are you trying to say I scattered your house and touched your personal stuffs. Are you trying to insult me in any way..
Ireti snapped at me angrily. I wasn’t going to let her stop this conversation. I need to make her understand the rules governing my house which was the same way my parents brought me up. I hate untidiness. Ireti was pretty, nice accent, classic babe and very good in bed but i want more than this qualities or abilities that she possessed.
” I can’t insult you honey, I respect you so much which is more reason we are having this conversation. I grew up among girls and my Mom did not exclude me in the house chores despite I was a boy… the only boy. Our house was always well kept. I grew up with that and try to maintain the same habit in my house. While growing up, I don’t do much chores but I always keep my own room clean just like my sisters. Ireti, you are everything I want in a woman but the only thing left is mutual understanding. Can you do me this few favour? No more wasting of food, no smoking, no mingling with my stuffs, no messing up the house and reduce your intake of alcohol…plea…
She snapped at me again while standing up.
” This is bullshit, real rubbish…are you trying to tutor me? do I look like a child to you Mart? What sort of nonsense talk is this? I should be the one lecturing you on what I hate, not your stupid cheap ass sitting here and trying to act like senseless lecturer to me. This is bullshit… damn you. Listen, I’m a classic babe, men are the ones searching for me, they are ready to do anything to have me. I don’t seek for them because I have them lined up. I’m rich, I got good Life and can afford everything I need. Don’t ever try to boss me around because the same way you grew up with silver spoon was the same way I was brought up but with a golden spoon. I got a better house than this. I grew up with house maids attending to my needs. I tour different countries and live in a well sophisticated house. Is this what you call a house?… what do you even have that you won’t allow me to breath in peace. Last night I asked you to go raw with me but you were too foolish and did your own bidding instead of mine after which you last only few hours before sleeping off on me while I was still awake. You maybe handsome and have few coins but that shouldn’t give you any right to talk trash to me. I’m not in your levels. The only thing I love in this house is that burgundy shoe which caught my attention the first day I saw you and this artificial aquarium you have here as decor nothing else. I have dined with men far more handsome and richer than you so what exactly is giving you wings to run your mouth anyhow? Is it because I passed a night in this local house? If you are searching for a maid, go get one. If you can’t clean up my mess, if you can’t last all night in bed, if you can’t tolerate my baggages then you are not man enough and you are not even close to been a husband material. Let me get the hell out here before you ask me to go and Wash your dirty dishes. I was testing you but look at how stupid you are, failing all my test. who are you to Tell me how to live my life? You are a damn fool. Rubbish!!
I was breathing so hard with my mouth open as Ireti washed me with insult. I try to apologize severally but she shut me up.
I don’t want her to leave but she angrily went into the room, pick up her things, change into her cloths and stormed out, straight into her car and was already driving out after shouting at Musa to open the gate for her.
I went back inside, sat hard on the cushion, holding my head in my hands. I began to regret the whole saga. If I knew that my confrontation will get her so angry I wound have kept quiet and enjoy this whole weekend with Ireti.
Ireti was a beautiful girl. she has a fine shape and was a slay queen. Slaying in all her outfits. She was just my type of woman in appearance but character wise I can’t conclude yet. I just wish she could be mine but there’s a whole lot of things to consider. I can’t judge her based on her first or second mistake. She said she was testing to know if I was a husband material. I failed in my first and second test maybe I will try to prove to her that I was a gentle man to the core.
The following day which was a Sunday, I decided to rock my shoe to church for the second time. I couldn’t find the burgundy polish. I searched everywhere but the polish was missing. How possible is that? Something I kept carefully with the shoe.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I was going crazy and I called Ireti. if she doesn’t pick I will send her a message but she answered the call.
I stammered before asking her if she saw my shoe polish. I have turned the house upside down but can’t find it.
” The people that sold it for you must have used jazz to collect it back so that you can come back and buy more from them. I hope I won’t get insulted for some stupid polish…go and challenge the seller and ask them about your shoe polish. don’t call me for stuffs like this except if you want to apologize for the way you treated me in your house yesterday.
I don’t have time for Ireti’s trouble so I mumbled few apologies to her before she ended the call.
I was so angry that I couldn’t wear my favourite shoe to Church that day. Angry with no other person but the stupid sales attendant that sold the polish to me. First thing tomorrow morning I will be in her store to give her a hard piece of my mind.
Ireti was right about the seller trying to frustrate my life because right now I feel so frustrated that the sales attendant who looks so calm manipulated me. She acted as if she was doing me a favour.
That sales attendant will hear from me tomorrow after that I will get a present for Ireti just to apologize for getting her pissed. I will definitely prove to Ireti that I’m a real husband material and ready to pass any test she throws at me. I will tolerate her baggage but she will have to avoid my wardrobe, most especially my favourite shoe. I don’t joke with that shoe.
But for now, I need to deal with that sales attendant first. She will have to provide another new polish for me or I will make sure that she is sacked from her job.