I waited but she never came out and I dozed off on the chair. When I awaken it was almost midnight. 11:46pm. I went to bed and was out with friends the following day. I came back in the evening and Sandra was in her room. She came out and greeted me. I asked her what was on the food menu for the night, she mentioned spaghetti. I told her to make fruit salad for me, which was what I felt like taking. She quickly did and brought it to where I sat watching TV. My eyes was on her all through as she served me before leaving. I swallowed hard and looked at her direction. She was going back to her room.
“Sandra, are you busy? She stopped and looked at me.
“No sir, don’t have anything doing right now…do you want me to do something for you sir? I gave a deep breath, because what I was about to say will sound strange in my ear and hers too.
“I want you to…i just wanted to ask you if…
I was acting stupid. Why can’t I boldly say that I wanted her to watch the damn TV with me? The word got stuck in my throat.
“To do what sir…what do you want me to do for you please?
“I want yam with vegetable and fish sauce….forget what is in the menu let’s eat yam. Do you care for that too?
That wasn’t what I wanted to say but I changed my mind because the word will not come out straight.
“Anything is fine by me. Let me go and get it ready sir… I nodded as she left. While she was in the kitchen, I was busy with music program showing on the TV. My mind was on Sandra and I couldn’t concentrate. I strolled down to the kitchen side. And stood by the door watching her without her knowledge. She almost dropped the plate in her hand when she turned and saw me.
“Oh my God. You scared me…do you need anything sir? She said breathing hard and try to steady her racing heart. What will I even tell her brought me to the kitchen now?
“I’m sorry to startle you, just trying to learn…I mean to watch you cook and learn too. She smile and I know it came from deep within. I returned the smile and moved closer as she began to teach me how to make a common vegetable and fish sauce that my Mum thought me when I was a teen. I pretend to concentrate as she went on with her lectures. I was distracted and wasn’t paying any attention to what she was saying but I acted as if I was.
“Tell me about your parents, are you the only child…where are your family?
I shocked her with my question. She pause and looked at me.
“I have a great family and they are all good….thanks for asking.
She went back to what she was doing with a total silent. I assumed she was not interested in talking about her family so I decided not to ask her anything personal, maybe I will do that later. The yam was done and the sauce was ready. While she put the yam into a deep plate, I dish out the sauce into different plate for both of us. She saw it and try to argue but I told her not to make any fuss out of it. I took the sauce to the dinning and she brought the yam and as she was about dropping the plate in front of my table where I sat. Her skin brushed mine and my heart tumbles over. My breath rasped. I guess she also felt it and pulled back immediately.
We sat and ate in silence, she was trying to get comfortable with me sitting beside her. I was pretending to be interested in the food but my mind was on Sandra. “Are you the only child, I heard you speak to your Mom and Dad often. They love you dearly and it makes me wonder if you are their only child? She asked breaking the silent.
“No, I’m not. I have three elder sisters. If you listen to most of my phone calls, i speak with my sisters too. My parents relate with all my sisters same way they do with me… Maybe a little more with me because I’m their only son. They just want me to turn out fine and be responsible. They sometimes treat me like a child forgetting that I’m an adult. A full grown man with bears…hahahaha…
I laughed and she joined in. That was what I always wanted, to hear her laugh. We talked about myself, my sisters, my parents and my growing up but she never talks about herself and when I asked.
“Your turn Sandra…enough of me. Tell me little about you.
“Nothing much to say. I’m just one ordinary girl from a middle class. Your family class is higher than mine anyway, hahahaha. I love my mum, my Dad… And my brother… I had a younger sister but she’s late. I feel bad anytime I remember that she is no more. Well, that’s all. She went quiet and frowned
“Interesting. I’m sorry about your sister. I’m also sorry for making you remember what you try to forget.
“Is okay sir. You shouldn’t be sorry. Is all in the past now. I did not take my eyes away from her. She looks up at me, stood from the table and came over to clear my plate. As she went to the kitchen to drop the plates. I try to control my heart beat and the way I was feeling but I couldn’t help it. I walked towards the kitchen, I never knew she was coming and we bumped into each other. I held her in my arms and we were motionless for sometime which seems like eternity. I was carried away and I guess she was shocked. I did not let her go due to the hot emotions clouding my mind. I kissed her she didn’t respond. I tried again and she straightened and struggles to get free from my arm. I still refused to let her go immediately. With all the emotions stored up in my heart I gently pinned her to the wall and kissed her passionately. My heart and hers were beating so loud, she struggled again and I moved back from her. I released her and she disappeared like a lightning bolt. My heart was panting heavily. I folded my hand into a fist and hit the wall hard. I placed my head on the wall before combing my hand into my low cut hair. I was restless.
“What did I just do? Oh no…I just kissed Sandra. Why will I do such a thing…oh my God. I swallowed hard and walked back into my room. I refused to come out of the room. I was embarrassed at myself. “How can I allow my emotions to get the best of me? Ireti must not know of this or there will be trouble”. I wish I can undo the kiss….what have I done? I cried out angrily at myself, I have never allowed my emotions to get out of hand before. But it got the best of me that evening. I stored up too much in my heart for her and couldn’t resist the urge of kissing her.
I went to work very early the following day just to avoid Sandra seeing me, I was too shy to even face her and I guess she was also because she stayed in her room and I did not hear any noise coming from her. I got to the office and couldn’t concentrate. My mind was on Sandra and what happened the previous night. I try to focus but my mind keeps leading me back to Sandra. I stood and walked round the office. I look out from my office window, replaying the whole kissing scene on my mind. I rubbed my two palms together and return to my sit. I went back working. I could have given my staffs some of the work but I chose to do it just to while away time. My stomach churns with a sound and i remembered that I haven’t eaten all day. I stood and went to my office fridge. took the food I store there and microwaved it, sat back and tries to eat but the hunger disappeared. I hungered for no other food than the one prepared by Sandra. Night came and all my staff left. I remained in the office and kept working. When the clock ticked 9pm. I stood, packed up my stuffs, picked up my car key and left. When I got home, I stood at my door. I held onto the door knob counting numbers and mustering the courage to walk in, face Sandra and apologise for what happened. I was acting like a coward and that is not the real me. I have never behaved so stupid and felt so embarrassed.
I walked in and she greeted me cheerfully.
“Welcome sir. I was worried when I checked the time and it was almost 9pm and you haven’t returned. Tried calling you but changed my mind. I set up dinner, I guess you will be hungry…
She was acting as if nothing happened last night. Making me feel like I was dreaming when I kissed her. Sandra stood right in front of me, leaving a little distance between us. She made me feel at peace. All the heavy burden was suddenly lifted. I decided to use the opportunity to talk to her. “About last night…uhmmm! I’m deeply sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry Sandra. It will never happen again…
She nodded with her head bent. She was avoiding my eyes but I wanted her to look at me so that she can see that I meant it.
“Please look at me…look up Sandra. She did. I bit my lips as her eyes shot through me. She looks so innocent and reserved. Ireti maybe beautiful but Sandra was very special.
“I promise. It won’t happen again. Do you believe me? She smile and said “I do sir. I believe you. I went back to my room and freshened up before coming out for dinner. After dinner I went straight to bed. After two days I returned from work very early. I wanted to take over the dinner, so I told Sandra to stand aside let me do it for the night. She laughed out and I made dinner for both of us. I asked her to take a taste and she licked up her lips and moan “so delicious”. I laughed and move out of the kitchen, giving her room to clean up the dishes. I asked her to join me on the dining. We did not make eye contact just concentrated on our food. I was struggling not to to. I finished my food and walked away. She went to bed after clearing up and I remained in the sitting room watching TV until I slept off and woke up by 10pm.
I stood and started towards my master bedroom. A noise was coming from Sandra’s room. I pause and went closer, and lean my ear to her door. Sandra was talking to someone over the phone.
“….seriously, I’m fine, stop worrying over me. I assured you… I’m fine. Yes, I’m working and making my own money…it makes me happy. Like I told you earlier, I got sacked from my previous place and later got another, this one….as a…housekeeper. Does it really matter…all that is matters is that I’m happy working. i know…and I love you too. I really love you but you have to allow me do this. My boss is a gentle man. C’mon…your thinking is weird….hahahaha. Stop it Jeff. Please I’m waking up early tomorrow, I spent two hours talking over the phone with you. My ear is paining me. Hahahaha. I have to sleep now please. Sure, I will definitely do that. I love you Jeff, be good and stay away from trouble! Hahaha… Always. Say hello t…
I quickly walked away to my room and did not hear the rest of her conversation. I felt heartbroken hearing her speak to somebody I assume is her man. I was really sad and suck in my bed like a child beaten by his Mom. I wish I did not eavesdrop on her conversation with her man. Now that I did, I felt worst with myself. It just dawn on me that Sandra was in a relationship and she loves the guy. She boldly declared it to him. The guy whose name happens to be Jeff seems to have issue with her living and working under a man’s roof. A jealous lover like me. I try to get over the hurt by sending message to Ireti but she didn’t reply. I can’t think straight, why is Sandra been in a relationship makes me so sad and loss of appetite. I needed to occupy my mind with something else before I go crazy. I wish Ireti would speak with me but she was in Dubai with her Papi and do not have my time either. The only thing I’m struggling to get over was Sandra and just realizing she was in a relationship was heart breaking. I wonder if I’m really normal. How can I be worried over that when I’m also in a relationship with Ireti. What is wrong with me? But no matter how I try to console myself I was still feeling hurt.
The following morning I was up early and left the house without breakfast again.